


Hold Me While You Shake

by Hayden_IsTrying



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Gun Violence, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Murder Husbands, Save them, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 19:57:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19857181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hayden_IsTrying/pseuds/Hayden_IsTrying
Summary: Virgil is a lonely murder/crime author and his writing has been below standard lately, so his good friends set him up on a dating service, the problem is that the service uses search history to pair people up.





	Hold Me While You Shake

It had been a while since Virgil had been on any kind of date. He usually didn't like to meet people unless he had to, being a very introverted person. But he couldn't deny that he had been feeling lonely as of late. He had no motivation to write, and when he did the stories were dismal or cynical. Virgil didn't see himself as a cynic but his recent work had been... unenthusiastic, to say the least.  
So, with encouragement from his newly married best friend, Roman. He made a dating profile.  
The dating site worked by using existing search history, as a way to find matches. When Virgil was told this by Logan, as he drove him to the cafe, Virgil was more than a little concerned.

But he pushed aside his worries and took a deep breath.  
'Nothing to worry about. it's not like the last thing you Googled was "how to discreetly move a body". Not at all.'  
Maybe he's a writer? or... A murderer with the intent to-. His thoughts were cut off by the abrupt stop of the car, and the smooth grainy noise of rubber on gravel. Logan turned to Virgil, "Now Virgil, Roman told me that right now you would be, 'freaking out' as he put it. So he told me to remind you to stay calm. I'm sure you'll be fine."  
Virgil nodded.  
"Now are you going to be alright?"  
I hope so, "I should be fine, Logan. I'll text you at the times we set so you know I'm not dead."  
Virgil walked over to the quaint little cafe he and his date planned to meet at. He had never been so intimidated by such a sweet building. The windows had pretty flowers, that looked well tended to, in pots and from the front windows it looked sweet and homely.  
He pushed open the door and took in his surroundings. The smooth, rustic, wood floor and floral smell working in tandem with the rich presence of coffee.

He looked around helplessly for a while, losing the little confidence he had when he realised, he had to find the table. (edited)  
After scanning the room he turned, instantly meeting honey brown eyes staring at him as if they were inspecting him.  
Virgil hadn't heard him, and usually, he was a very vigilant person. "Hey...a- are you Patton?" he asked, his voice shaky and nervous.  
Suddenly, the look in his eyes changed to something brighter, faker, but Virgil kept it to himself and didn't react.  
"Hiya, yup that's me, I'm Patton. And you must be Virgil. Gosh, it's nice to finally meet you."  
Virgil was slightly unnerved, at both the confidence and positivity of this man, but nonetheless, he took the hand extended to him. and shook it.  
It seemed like a normal exchange until Patton didn't let go of his hand. He saw a glint in the man's eye that his mind screamed meant danger, but again he ignored his personal instinct. Look, Virgil, not everyone spends their lives in their house. Some people have social skills, accept it. he reminded himself. Though he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, push the burning anxiety from his chest. "So, what do you do for a living?" Patton asked a grin on his face that seemed to vanish as it got to his eyes.  
"I'm a writer, it's actually really cool. I can make up my own worlds, sometimes I can be absorbed into fantasy and forget about real-world problems for a while. In a world that you can create, anything can be true."  
Patton smiled, nodding slowly "My...job?...career choice, is more... physical work, at least that's how I would describe it. But I do agree to that Virgil, anything can be true.”  
Virgil shifted uncomfortably, pulling at anything in his head for a less uncomfortable topic. come on, anything, please.?  
art! I do art!  
"Oh, do you?" Patton sickly sweet voice filled his ears. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and goosebumps bubble in his forearms.  
"I said that out loud?" Virgil said, his voice only a squeak.  
"Were you not supposed to?" Patton asked, still in that flat, fake tone.  
"I guess?" He replied.  
Soon the food came over, and Virgil hoped the conversation would be shifted. Or so help him he will never go on a date again.

Virgil ordered simple pasta, he didn't want to be 'over the top' but he was hungry. So carbs he didn't have to cook, sounded great.  
However, his slight lift in mood completely shifted and his stomach turned when he looked up at his date.  
It was his imagination playing tricks on him, it had to be.

Patton was holding a large steak knife, running his finger up and down the blade. It was the first time that night that Virgil had seen anything in those gold pits for eyes and it was dark.  
Because the only clear emotion Virgil could see was crystal clear malice.  
And then his vision flickered to meet Virgil's eye and he smiled. Wide.

The look made Virgil beyond uncomfortable, but he couldn't tear his eyes away.

"I have to go for a second. " Patton mumbled.  
Patton shakily stood up, his hands violently quivering, looking like he was about to break down.  
Now Virgil had a decision. He could follow his date (and possibly get murdered), get help from a member of staff( and tell them to call the police), or he could bolt and wait outside for Logan and/or Roman to pick him up. (possibly get murdered while waiting after Patton noticed his absence.)

So he took a second to breathe, think like Logan he reminded himself.  
"you know what, fuck it," he said, following out of a side door into the crisp air of the night.

"Patton, Patton? Where are you?"

he stood in the cold, his forgotten coat in the cafe, but fuck it right?

Virgil stood in the cold, feeling loneliness surround him like a hurricane. he began to convulse, all his confidence being pulled out from underneath him as if he was light as a feather.  
Then a sob escaped.  
And with one, came another.

He collapsed to the floor in tears feeling only broken, and unwanted. He was in an icy tunnel, and he felt like there was no way to escape.  
Roman, a long time ago, had told him that "one day, he would meet the warm fire that would melt into his stone-cold heart." It was a joke but Virgil would be lying if he said it hadn't stuck with him.  
He hadn't felt it was much like him, to be honest.  
He had always thought of himself as the fire.  
He just needed a little attention to flicker to life and prosper on his own.

These thoughts circled and span giving him a headache...

Until he felt a sharp and heavy pain to his right temple, and everything slowly began to fade into murky black.

Sudden pain and light, flooded Virgil's vision. As he sat up he only made it worse as another thrum of pain drilled into his skull.  
He was expecting the cold floor, and if not that a hospital bed.

But he was curled in on himself in warm, Pattoned, blankets in a large couch that felt more like a pile of blankets because it was so warm and comfortable.  
When he was calm enough, that his head didn't feel like it was going to cave in on itself, he sat up and peeked over the back of the sofa.  
And he saw a guy.  
And a dog.  
The dog heard him and lifted his large head to look at Virgil. In response, he rose to his feet, sluggishly and nuzzled the guy's leg.  
Virgil couldn't tell exactly, but it looked like a Saint Bernard

But he realised too late that the dog was, in fact, waking up the man. As his eyes slipped open Virgil ducked down but he had already been seen.

The man let out a heavy sigh, before calling up the steady looking oak stairs, one hand gripping the bottom of the bannister. "Patton get your murderous ass down here, your... " He gave Virgil a lingering, slightly confused look.  
"your... purple bitch is awake."  
Patton's lecturing voice came down the stairs. "How many times have I told you not to yell so loudly about ou-" He stopped, when he saw Virgil with new tears stinging in his eyes, he walked over to him.  
"Okay, now this is going to take a lot of explaining, but i promis i won't hurt you. " Patton said searching his eyes for something.  
"Really bitch? it's going to take a lot more than explaining." The other man said, smugly pushing his glasses up his nose.  
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Patton said with a warning glare. "As I was saying, you have to give us a chance to explain."  
"Bitch when was this an 'us' thing? S' a bit weird don't you think? Considering I'm your brother. In fact, I'd really rather it wasn't an 'us' thing… Okay, and now you're giving me the bitch glare."  
"SHUT UP" Patton snapped. "Or I swear to god, Remy, you are next"  
"Okay bitch, calm down" Remy smirked turning to sit back on the chair.  
Patton walked past Remy and over to the kettle, "I need some coffee. Do either of you want some?"  
"Always, Bitch"

Patton and Remy had started a conversation and were distracted enough, so Virgil decided to make a run for the door. He slowly rose from the couch and pulled away from the several layers of blankets. Now his hands were free, he brought his hand to his head and felt a wave of nausea as he felt the gash.  
He took an experimental step further to the door and another but this time more confident.  
And on the third step, he went crashing to the floor, falling face-first into the floor barely catching himself, because of course, his arms were numb from laying on them, he looked behind him and saw a blanket wrapped around his leg.  
Remy and Patton both looked over at the noise and saw him. "Purple bitch? really?"  
Patton lightly smacked Remy's shoulder and walked over to help, but Virgil flinched.  
He let out a slight whimper and his breathing was a little more laboured than normal.  
"I told you he would be scared of me, Rem," Patton said, sighing as he flopped into a nearby chair. "See if he will let you help him?"

Remy approached him, but he used his feet as leverage and propelled himself backwards until he hit the wall.  
"I'll go, that might help," Patton mumbled and walked upstairs(edited)  
He closed a door from upstairs, but not before a heavy and broken sob was heard throughout the house.  
For a while, it was quiet "Are you willing to listen?" Remy said breaking the silence.  
"because unlike him, "he leaned down to get close to Virgil "I won't hesitate, bitch."  
Virgil nodded rapidly, clearly shaking.  
"Jeez calm down, with the amount you're shaking I would have thought you were on something if I didn't know better."

"Okay so," he started taking a sip of coffee "Patton and I work for an organisation that essentially, kills people."  
"My kill count is a lot higher than Patton's, but that's only because I took the brunt of the deal. I know how brutal they were, while Patton was playing with Legos I was learning how to use a gun. While other people our age were getting girlfriends or boyfriends, I was convincing people every which way that Patton was useful. When people like them think you are useless, you're fucked. He grew up thinking he was a liability. Eventually, he reached his breaking point. He killed ten people, all on our kill list, and ever since he has isolated himself. you won't believe me but you were the first normal person he had spoken to in his life. Growing up like that fucks you up. Though. he always had a smile on his face. I don't know how he did it. How he still does it. For the record, he likes you, that's why you're not dead."  
"Then why d- did h...he?"  
"hit you? He didn't touch you. You were having some kind of breakdown on the floor, nervous, existential maybe? None the less you looked insane. For a while, I watched from the car, because I was supposed to pick Patton up but I had to check out the purple bitch that looked violently hammered. From a distance, your trauma looked like breakdancing. But once I realised you were just sad, I got pretty bored and tried to find Patton. Once I did, told him about the crazy purple bitch and he said we should go get you. I didn't even know you were his date. He recognised you from my vivid description We found you, with half your head taken out by some kind of blunt object. I thought you were dead so I wanted to peace out but Patton insisted we help you. And here you are, Purple bitch... Taking up space in my apartment, and upsetting my brother. My brother, who I am very protective of. You wanna know something? Anyone who has so much as put a frown on his face is dead, and you made him cry. Didn't you, Virgil?" Remy spat his name like it was acid  
"But luckily for you, It's not my call to make, It's Patton's. Unless the wrong call is made, in that case...What I'm saying is, cheer him up, or I will turn you into a carpet, Purple bitch."  
Remy then walked over to sit next to the fireplace, winking at Virgil as he shooed him towards the stairs with a flick of his wrist.

Virgil walked up to the stairs, haphazardly almost falling twice and at this point, he had given up on embarrassment. He wasn't getting out of this one any time soon.  
He took in a deep shaky breath and knocked softly on the wood. The sound reverberated throughout the empty house that looked very unsafe and decrepit.  
He heard several sniffles and the splash of water. The door creaked open slowly, and it revealed Patton looking as closed off as Virgil had first seen in the cafe.  
"Hey... I'm not scared anymore, Do you wanna talk?"  
Patton's face lit up and he brightened substantially.

"I would really love that, Virgil"  
He smiled jumping slightly where he stood, he then turned and sat on a small platform in front of a bay window. he then pattoned the spot next to him and he sat down.

"I actually think you are a really cool person, I'd love to get to know you more, Virgie"  
"I think you're pretty cool, from what I do know about you," Virgil said a little unsure in his tone but otherwise truthful.  
The two sat there for a while tossing back and forth stories and bouncing ideas off each other. they asked about favourites and first times and they were both having an amazing time.  
Virgil's nerves had completely dissipated and Patton felt he could be so open with Virgil. This meant he wasn't nearly as secretive.  
The plentiful Conversation had dulled down to heartfelt comfortable silence. They were both staring at the illuminated night sky full of stars and wishing on them.  
little did they know, it was for the same thing.  
In the darkness, Virgil swore he heard a car pulling up on gravel but ignored it in favour of meeting Patton's eye.  
They were so close to each other, and they both wanted the same thing.  
The question is, who dared to make the move?  
Eventually, it was both that started leaning in and they met in the middle mixing so much emotion in the simple embrace that they could write a book with it.  
Virgil pulled away first, breathing heavy again Patton and they were both smiling like the idiots they were  
in the once moment nothing could disrupt them  
they were in their own paradise but they didn't need scenery or beaches or even dogs (but that's pushing it)  
The two lay there together for a while, hands clasped like if they let go they would never find each other again.  
"Patton? Can I have a hug?"  
"awwwee, of course, virgieee." Patton was so happy, the happiest he had ever been and it was all thanks to the 5,6 legend of cuteness in his arms or his second title, purple bitch.  
"Hey, Patt?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I think I love you."

"Awe, I love yo- t... "  
Virgil had his eyes closed, thank god he didn't see  
the nightmare material he saw was enough to keep a whole village under a curse of insomnia. But if he had to see it, the bullet.  
the heavy wooden door had been creaked open with the highest of caution, just enough. to fit the barrel of his gun  
Roman's gun  
Virgil had shot up at the blast, immediately he saw the wound. He didn't even think to check the gunman because he was trying to stop the bleeding. Crumpling up his hoodie and pressing it to his abdomen he began to whisper to Patton.

"Patton, stay with me, please you have to stay with me, I love you so much...so much..."  
"Virgil, you have to promise m..me so- fuck... Something" Patton rasped.  
"Anything"  
"This world wasn't made for me, it never was. I've been looking for something my whole life. Do you know what that is? I was never really sure, but I see it, right now I know what I was looking for, I found my holy grail, in your eyes.. and now, it's your turn. Find someone to love, someone less damaged. I love you, Virgil."  
"No, no, no, no, please Pat, please don’t leave me." But he was already gone.  
His whole body shook with sobs and he felt like his heart had been pulled from his chest.

Remy burst in, barely looking at the scene, but he grabbed Virgil and pulled him downstairs. He pulled him straight past Roman's body, full of at least 30 bullet holes, which Virgil guessed that was the fault of Remy, but the sight of his friend dead and cold on the floor made him want to throw up.

Remy pushed Virgil into the passenger door and made a call as he started the car. It was brief and mostly numbers and code. He hung up and began driving.  
Virgil admittedly was fucking terrified. He had never seen driving like this, even in a movie Then Remy pulled out a flask. Virgil dreaded to think how high the alcohol content of that flask was, all he knew was that he was royally fucked.  
"what the fuck is the point anymore" he yelled as he swerved the car right off the road and I skidded on the tarmac, slick with rain and all went black. When Virgil woke up he could hear screaming sirens and the continuous crackling of a fire.  
Everything was perfectly still in the moment as he was pulled from the vehicle and everything went dark once more. 

Now Virgil has the task of recovering and put the pieces back together in his mind.  
**  
2 whole years later Virgil walked up to the gravestone of Roman. The saint bernard walking beside him loyally as ever. Virgil found out his name was Rupers and decided to keep him, as his owners weren’t around for him anymore.  
He noticed a small paper envelope, he was going to ignore it but then he saw the name. Written in Roman’s distinctive calligraphy was, ‘To Virgil’ He squinted his eyes, then blinked, but it still sat there as if taunting him. He sat next to the gravestone, gently opening the letter.

Hello Virgil, if you are reading this, my plan must have gone very wrong and I have been killed. I anticipated this because if I failed to save you and you rescued yourself, like the strong person I've always known you as, you deserve an explanation.  
As you know, I grew up terrified of my sexuality. As soon as I deviated anyway from straight I practically had a mental break down. This was due to my parents but what you don’t know is that my parents were far scarier than I made them out to be. They weren’t homophobic but damn were they dangerous. I didn’t want you mixed up in my problems. You met my grandmother however she wasn’t actually related to me. She just happened to be another person who owed more than a few favours to my parents. And they were dangerous people, but I fell in love with you so hard so quickly and it only got worse, everything you did, everything you said I loved you so much. You were my world, Virgil. So I buried it, so deep inside so that you could never find it.

A few years later, we were 20 at the time, after seven years of being in love with you I met Logan. Though I know we don’t remember it the same because I never truly told you how I met him. I didn’t bump into him and invite him for coffee. It went a little more like this;  
My parents knew I was useless but if they couldn’t use me as an assassin like they planned they could at least, ‘make use of my existence’ They introduced me to Logan and told me that we would get married to settle the feud between them and Logan’s family. I knew something like this would happen, that they would ruin my life before I could begin it. Which is why I hid my feelings for you, I couldn’t break your heart and I already knew my fate was sealed.

I thought that once I married Logan that the feelings for you would dissipate, but they never did. I had no idea, but my parents had figured this out. They told me that if I wanted you to live I had to kill Patton, your date, they want you gone and it’s all my fault  
And for that, I am genuinely and sincerely sorry  
Your friend - Roman

Virgil crumpled, tears were openly streaming down his face and he has broken all over again.  
That's when Virgil hears it. A voice all too familiar, one he thought he would never hear again.  
"Hello Virgil, nice to see you again, I’d really like you to fuck off now before I put a bullet in your head."  
"I see you kept his last name, how is that working out for you?" Virgil snapped  
"Shut up."  
"I didn't kill him, Lo, I mean it. You just can't accept that the blame is yours to keep, forever"  
"He only loved you, you know that? I’m not stupid, he never said it, not once, not one 'i love you'." Logan said sliding down next to Virgil, who only hummed in response.  
After some time passed where it looked like Virgil was trying to say something he finally sighed before breathing out in bated breaths, “We’re the only ones left.”  
"No, we're not. That’s what I'm here for, You have to go."  
"why?" he asked, his whole body dull and defeated.  
"Patton's alive; he wants to see you."

**Author's Note:**

> Requests are open  
> 


End file.
